Understanding What Fuzzy Is Trying to Tell You

In This Chapter

•  Responding to various ferret sounds
•  Reacting to your ferret’s dance moves
•  Recognizing your ferret’s body language
•  Considering other ways your ferret communicates

Ferrets are extremely interactive critters. They use many different types of communication to get their points across — from body language to vocalizations to crazy behaviors. They can be notorious thieves and affectionate lap warmers at the same time. Watching them can be both amusing and baffling, but knowing what they’re trying to say to you is important. It can mean the difference between a lick on the nose and a nip of the nostrils.

You’ll surely encounter all sorts of captivating behavior, both good and bad, during your ferret rendezvous. My experience has been that the good encounters are far more plentiful than the bad. I spend more time laughing with my furballs, even when they’re being devilish. In this chapter, I cover the main types of ferret communication so you can properly manage, care for, and play with your ferret. I discuss ferret vocalization, ferret dancing, fuzzy body language, and other unique behaviors. Hopefully, this chapter will help you recognize that you’re not alone in thinking your ferret may be a little crazy . . . and will put to rest any fears you have that you’re crazy for loving every minute of it.

Say What? Speaking Ferret-ese

For the most part, fuzzies are quiet. I mean, goodness, they sleep for hours on end! Occasionally, one of my furkids has a ferret dream and does a little whimpering in her sleep, but that’s a rarity. During playtime, though, the vocabulary comes out. Ferrets use vocalization to send signals. Seasoned ferret humans (sprinkled with ferret poo) have personal terms for ferret vocalizations that they’ve come up with over the years. These terms are sort of like understood jokes between ferret and human. However, most fuzzy humans recognize a few terms universally. I cover these vocalizations in the sections that follow so you can speak the ferret language and understand what your ferret wants.

Remember

People who don’t understand ferret communication can become frightened or intimidated when encountering vocalizations for the first time. Recognizing the difference between a dook of happiness and a screech of anger is important. Not knowing may cause you to react improperly to the message being given. Humans often run into this difficulty with their human partners, too!

The dook

The most common ferret babble is known as dooking (also known as clucking or chuckling). It sounds like sort of a low-pitched, grumbling gibber. My ferrets frequently get a case of the verbal “hee hees” while they’re dooking. Dookings are awesome sounds made out of sheer giddiness or excitement. The stimulation felt from wrestling with another ferret, rapid counter cruising, or even from exploring new smells, toys, and hidey-holes can cause carpet sharks to dook. Nothing to worry about here; just enjoy!

Technical Stuff

Mother jills (female ferrets) make a slightly different but similar noise to help their kits (baby ferrets) locate them when the babies are exploring their environment. Experts suggest that polecats also use a similar noise when first meeting each other, during dancing used to avoid conflict, and before and during ritual fighting.

The screech

The opposite of the dook is the certified sign of terror, the screech. These noises are high-pitched reactions to extreme pain, fright, or anger. The screech is a common defense mechanism and often is accompanied by or even replaced by rapid chattering. When you hear this warning cry, your job as a concerned parent is to jump to your fuzzy’s defense. Her tail may be puffed and her back arched. She may have her mouth gaped open, and she may even be scooting backward. Go to her rescue immediately, but be sure to assess her body language before reaching down with your vulnerable hands.

Warning!

When rushing to help your fuzzy, do so with care. Most animals engrossed in pain, anger, or fright are capable of unpredictable behavior, and ferrets are no exception to this rule.

The bark

Sometimes your ferret will surprise you and utter a noise that resembles a bark. Usually, the bark is one or two very loud chirps that come from a very excited or frightened furball. A friend of mine has a ferret that will bark if he tries to take away its treasured dried fish or jerky. Some humans bark if you prematurely remove their dinner plates, too.

Warning!

A ferret that’s traumatized or excited enough to screech, hiss, or bark can take temporary leave of her senses and nail you good with her chompers — and it won’t be her fault. Many situations can cause screeching, barking, hissing, or chattering — from a serious fight between two rival ferrets to having a tail caught in a door to coming face to face with a large, unfamiliar dog.

The hiss

The hiss is a warning noise in the ferret’s vocabulary. I find a ferret’s hissing noise quite amusing, even if she doesn’t; it’s sort of a cross between a “hee hee” and chattering. The noise can be in the form of long bursts of sound or short, hissy spats, depending on the situation. A hissing fuzzy is a very annoyed or angry fuzzy. Take care when handling this girl, because she’s liable to lash out at you.

You Make Me Feel Like Dancin’! Interpreting Your Ferret’s Jig

If you haven’t figured it out by now, ferrets are animated critters with a complex array of behaviors. Often, a ferret’s vocalizations (described in the previous section) are accompanied by particular movements and body language — such as opening the mouth, puffing the tail, arching the back, and so on — that resemble dances. Reading between the lines can be difficult, if not alarming, to people who don’t know how to read ferret music. In the following sections, I help you interpret your ferret’s dances and take action accordingly.

The dance of joy

I don’t know of a ferret that hasn’t mastered the dance of joy (see Figure 18-1). If you run across one, her ferret human is most certainly doing something terribly wrong. All healthy, happy ferrets partake in this frequent and brilliant performance. The dance of joy is an unadulterated sign of pure happiness and delight. (Note: These dancers are professional ferrets. Don’t try these moves at home. Doing so may cause irreparable damage to your skeletal structure and harm your ego!)

To perform the dance, the ferret moves in all directions, sometimes at the same time. She may hop forward and sashay sideways, with a double twist back. No two dances are the same, yet all are amusing.

Remember

The dance of joy is a great way to gauge whether your ferret is in shape. A very fit and energetic fuzzy will be the last one on the dance floor. Short bursts of dancing performed between short ferret naps are also common. If you find that your ferret is sleeping more than playing when she gains her daily freedom, try giving her more exercise (see Chapter Enrichment: Yours and Your Ferret’s). If her energy still seems low over time, take her to the vet for a checkup. You want to make sure that her lack of energy isn’t more than just being flabby and out of shape.

Technical Stuff

It’s probable that the dance of joy does a few things for the polecat:

• The arched back, piloerection (frizzed-out tail), and sway make the animal look bigger than it is.
• The side-to-side swings may confuse a potential predator or make the animal attack the tail rather than the head.

Figure 18-1: The ferret dance of joy.

• Several different species of weasels and polecats have used war dancing to confuse or distract potential prey, increasing the odds of getting a meal.

Ferrets do the dance as part of their “play fighting” behaviors. When doing the dance for a human or to play with another ferret (or just on their own), ferrets also open their mouths and sometimes dook.

The war dance

I like to call the war dance “dooking it out,” even though dooks aren’t associated with angry or fearful fuzzies (see the earlier section “The dook”). Sometimes, recognizing the war dance can be difficult because the dance of joy covers all the same basic body movements, including the notorious arched back. But an angry ferret often hisses or screeches as an additional warning. The war dance can be performed with or without a ferret partner. Your ferret may choose you as a partner or the family dog. Or she may pick out an inanimate object that happened to catch her off-guard.

The war dance often features an arched back, which is the furball’s way of appearing bigger than life. I call it basic trickery. The dance can be slow or fast, depending on the situation. Many angry ferrets back themselves into a corner, arched back and all, and screech or hiss with their mouths wide open. A very angry or frightened ferret also will let loose an A-bomb — a spray of musk. Although a frizzed-out tail often is appropriate attire for the war dance, it isn’t always worn.

Remember

If your ferret is in a bad situation, rescue the furkid quickly, but do so very cautiously. A bite that results from an upset ferret is rarely the fault of the ferret.

Decoding Your Ferret’s Body Language

Ferrets do a lot more than dance when they’re playing, inspecting, or exploring their environments. They always seem to be on mysterious quests, which sometimes feature about as much grace as a weasel in a lingerie drawer (not that I would know). Some ferrets appear to feel bored and frustrated at times. Some seem happy and silly. And others may just want to cool out in their hidey-holes. In the following sections, I cover some peculiar behaviors that ferrets exhibit alone and with each other. Hopefully you’ll get the insight you’ve been looking for. Ferrets can be weird creatures!

The frizz look

A true sign of excitement, both good and bad, is the frizzed-out tail. I call it the “pipe cleaner tail,” and others call it the “bottlebrush tail.” The official term is piloerection. When humans get piloerection, we call it goosebumps. When ferrets get it, people call it frizzed or fuzzed. No matter what you call it, if you aren’t reading the other signs that accompany the pipe cleaner tail, you may be in for a surprise. Remember, the frizzed tail is a sign of extreme emotion, good or bad. This ferret can be unpredictable.

The situation is similar to when dogs get hackles or when cats do that thing with the fur on their tails. Ferrets puff out the fur on their tails when they’re frightened or angry (and are more prone to biting). However, the frizzy look can also be a sign of surprise or happy excitement. Each one of my furballs has a frizzed tail for several minutes after bath time. They’re excited and overstimulated while they search for creative ways to dry off and undo all the cleaning.

The alligator roll and wrestlemania

Okay, so your ferret doesn’t look like an alligator, but boy, can she flip and roll her partner in seconds flat! I’ve seen all my ferrets perform the alligator roll many times. The flip is just a form of playing or wrestling. The alpha fuzzy, or head cheese, is the master. She quickly grabs another fuzzy by the back of her neck and flips her upside down. Both carpet sharks then rapidly roll and wrestle about.

There are several variations of wrestling that almost always come into play when your ferrets are out of the cage. Many species of mammals participate in these mock battles to sharpen their survival skills and establish their rankings in the group.

Remember

Ferrets can appear to be quite aggressive during normal play. The rough play, besides being fun, often is a way of establishing dominance. A ferret’s skin is tough, and what appears to be ruthless biting may in fact just be a bothersome pinch to the recipient. (Ferrets use their paws for grabbing at other ferrets, for tackling, and for wrestling them to the ground, but their teeth are their main weapons.) One opponent may scream briefly in protest. Don’t interfere unless you truly feel the game has turned into more than a game.

Warning!

The trouble comes when a fuzzy chooses a human hand or toe or a piece of clothing to perform an alligator roll on. Youngsters and overexcited ferrets in play mode do this a lot. Although it can be amusing and innocent at first, this behavior shouldn’t be encouraged. If you choose to play along with the roll and wrestle with your ferret, use a toy to tackle and wrestle with rather than your hand. You don’t want to encourage the fuzzy to bite your hand, and biting is almost always a part of this game.

The treasure hunt

Next time you get invited to a party in which the host sends you and the rest of the guests on a treasure hunt, grab your fuzzy to help in the search. Ferrets make excellent detectives. The job of the fuzzy is to explore every inch, every crack, and every scent of her environment, leaving nothing unexamined. A ferret’s nose will be glued to the ground as she follows scent trails this way and that. She’ll stop at nothing to get to know everything she can.

Remember

Because of a ferret’s determination and persistence to explore, proper ferret-proofing is essential to your ferret’s safety (see Chapter Ferret - Proofing Your Home). A ferret can find anything that you don’t hide well enough. And when she finds it, she’ll hide the stuff even better. This is called cache behavior. I’ve had ferrets present me with cherished items I thought I’d never see again. At first I wanted to show my excitement at the discoveries by rewarding the treasure hunters, but then I realized that they probably hid the treasures in the first place.

The chase is on

Most animals love to chase each other, but ferrets are the masters at the high-speed chase. The behavior may be the inner predator coming to the surface, or it may just illustrate the ferret’s desire to have a good time. Regardless, you don’t have to be a fuzzy to partake in chases. I’ve seen my cats and several furkids cruising around the house at the speed of fuzz. I’ve even done the ferret shuffle as quickly as I could to get away from a tailing carpet shark.

Overly excited or happy ferrets can appear to be quite nuts. They bounce off the walls, furniture, and body parts, often with their mouths gaping wide and teeth showing. This behavior is normal. Many people mistakenly believe this open-mouth gesture is aggression. Rather, it’s an invitation to play, and it’s all part of ferret fun and games.

Warning!

A ferret chase can be a dangerous behavior, though. Many dogs don’t like to be chased by ferrets and will snap at them in retaliation. And kids who don’t know how to properly perform the ferret shuffle shouldn’t chase because they can easily step on fuzzies. The safest way for a person (adult or child) to play chase with a ferret is to be on all fours on the ground. The fuzzy almost always wins this way, and you reduce the risk of accidentally crushing her.

Technical Stuff

Did you know that ferrets and polecats aren’t typically chase hunters? They hunt most of their food by uncovering it or by cornering it in tunnels. They move very rapidly rapidly if you startle them, however, as if to avoid becoming food for an owl!

Fuzzy stalking

Sometimes a ferret remains very still before pouncing on another ferret or toy. I call this behavior fuzzy stalking or the ambush. In this way, fuzzies are similar to cats, although ambushing isn’t the preferred method of hunting by the ferret’s wild relatives. A more serious variation of stalking is lunging. You may encounter the lunge when a ferret is becoming overprotective of a special toy or hidey-hole.

Tail wagging

Some ferrets wag their tails out of sheer excitement or stimulation. Some may even do it when they’re upset. Tail wagging isn’t as common in fuzzies as it is in cats, but it’s hardly cause for alarm when it does happen. Youngsters seem more prone to this funny behavior. If your fuzzy is a tail wagger, you can say that you have a furkid with a tad more character than the rest of the furkids.

“Why Does My Ferret Do That?” Understanding Other Fuzzy Behaviors

Besides understanding vocalizations and body language, you need to know what other behaviors come with the ferret package. I get calls from people who proclaim excitedly that their ferrets hate the litter they’ve chosen. The ferrets toss or dump the litter constantly. They ask me what secret litter I use and what they can do to fix the problem.

Some ferret humans are relieved when I tell them that the problem probably isn’t the litter. It’s a natural ferret behavior to dig. Or it can be due to boredom and stress (see Chapter Enrichment: Yours and Your Ferret’s for ideas on enrichment for your ferret). Some ferret humans want a quick fix and seem frustrated with my answers. I tell these people that ferrets are crazy, which is why people love them so much. In the sections that follow, I cover digging and the remaining fuzzy behaviors that you should recognize and understand.

Digging to China

A ferret’s long claws weren’t put there just for looks, you know. Any ferret owner will tell you that digging comes as naturally to a ferret as pooping. Normal targets of digging include cage corners, litter boxes, potted plants, and carpeting. If you think about it, though, the digging behavior makes sense:

• Polecats, relatives of the ferret, are burrowing critters.
• Polecats and ferrets hunt by sense of smell. When a wild polecat locates food with her sniffer, her claws dig in for the kill.
• Ferrets inherently know that digging drives humans right up the wall!

Remember

Another reason for digging that some people overlook is boredom or frustration. Although you can’t take the urge to dig out of the ferret, you must recognize that ferrets need a lot of stimulation. Digging can, at times, be a way of saying, “Pay attention to me!” or “I’ll get you for taking away my toy!” Or she may simply be attempting to get out of her cage. For tips on how to enrich your ferret’s life and prevent stress and boredom, refer to Chapter Enrichment: Yours and Your Ferret’s.

Tip

Although you can’t prevent a ferret from digging, you can do some things to prevent damage done by your excavator (for more on ferret-proofing, see Chapter Ferret - Proofing Your Home):

• Keep your plants up high or cover the soil with wire, large decorative rocks, or tin foil.
• For carpeting, you can try to use plastic carpet runners or simply remove the carpeting where your fuzzy will be playing. Tile certainly is easier to clean, also.

Ferret fixations

Your ferret may become fixated on a certain object and treat it with extra-special care — even preventing others from getting near it. For some ferrets, “fixation” is the understatement of the year. When a ferret claims her love for an object, she often guards it tooth and nail.

My ferret Elmo discovered a toy from one of those fast-food kid’s meals before I could even get it out of the plastic. It was a hard-plastic lion that he grabbed and ran off with to his hidey-hole. After he’d familiarized himself with it, he proudly brought the toy out to show off to his friends. But Elmo never allowed anyone to get too close to it. Like a mother protecting her vulnerable baby, this oversized carpet shark hissed warnings to the other ferrets to keep a safe distance.

Even today, Elmo has many toys, but this one is never far from his sight. He carries it to the food bowl and drops it in while he eats, and then he carefully buries it in his bedding when he’s through. The toy even accompanies him to the litter box. Now that’s true love!

The movers are here

What happens if your ferret becomes obsessed with something she just can’t get her teeth around? Why, she simply tucks it under her belly and secures it there with her front paws. From there, the thief amuses any onlookers with her unique ability to scoot backward with the object in tow. Balls and small, hard objects often are subjected to this tuck-and-scoot method of moving.

And what if the object is too big to tuck and scoot? Well, her pointy honker isn’t just for smelling and leaving nose prints on your eyeglasses. And her feet weren’t made just for walking. Ferrets can not only drag around heavy objects, but also push them around (different from bossing us around). They use their noses and/or front feet to push items to the desired destinations. They’ll try for hours to shove oversized items into obviously undersized locations. My fuzzies frequently try to drag me under the couch. I never have the heart to point out the flaw in their plan. I’m rather amused at watching them try to make it work no matter what.

A felon on your hands?

Ferrets would make excellent crooks if they weren’t so darned blatant about their thieving ways. It’s absolutely normal, even if sometimes annoying, for ferrets to steal objects and carry them off to their secret hidey-holes. Heck, the animal’s name appropriately means “thief” (see Chapter Understanding What Ferrets Are (And Aren’t)). This thieving or hoarding is a caching behavior. It serves an important role in the survival of wild polecats: as a way for them to stock up on food for future shortfalls.

Almost anything the ferret can grab with her paws or carry in her mouth is fair game. From pieces of food to cigarette butts, you’ll find the most unusual collections of goodies in the most unusual places. Purses, pockets, and back-packs are frequent targets for ferret raids. If you value any items your ferret may steal — such as car keys, shoes, and jewelry — I suggest that you keep these items up high or away from the ferret’s play area altogether.

Warning!

Hoarding is one of the ferret’s most endearing traits, but it can lead to trouble. Some stolen items are big, but others are dangerously small. Ferrets can ingest small items that can cause blockages. Remember this characteristic about your ferret when you ferret-proof your home (see Chapter Ferret - Proofing Your Home). Plus, food that your fuzzy stashes can spoil or mold.

Blame the ferret!

In several plays written thousands of years ago, Aristophanes made fun of political opponents by calling them ferrets. He would imply that they stole public trust and funds in the same way ferrets stole bits of meat and shiny objects. The wording of these quotes may differ, and the animal mentioned by Aristophanes has been called a cat, marten, ferret, polecat, and house ferret. Thanks to Bob Church for providing these gems! In The Acharnians (425 BCE): “Happy he who shall be your possessor and embrace you so firmly at dawn, that you fart like a house ferret.” Note: Reference to poofing. In Wasps (422 BCE): “But to-day men-at-arms are placed at every outlet to watch me, and two of them are lying in wait for me at this very door armed with spits, just as folks lie in wait for a house ferret that has stolen a piece of meat.” Note: Reference to stealing meat.

In Peace (421 BCE): “Let someone bring me the thrush and those two chaffinches; there were also some curds and four pieces of hare, unless the house ferret stole them last evening, for I know not what the infernal noise was that I heard in the house.” Note: Reference to stealing meat. In The Thesmophoriazusae (411 BCE): “And how we give meats to our pimps at the feast of the Apaturia and then accuse the house ferret . . .” Note: Reference to giving meat (treasure) to others and blaming the ferret for stealing it. In Plutus (380 BCE): “Quick she drew back her hand, slipped down into the bed with her head beneath the coverlets and never moved again; only she let flee a fart in her fear which stank worse than a house ferret.” Note: Reference to poofing.

The zig-zag

Have you ever heard the saying a straight line for a ferret includes six zigs and seven zags? When zig-zagging, your ferret isn’t trying to evade a pursuer, though that would be an excellent guess. Your ferret has inherited a unique hunting technique from her wild polecat relatives. Scanning the ground from side to side as she moves forward allows your ferret to cover more surface area and increases the odds of catching or unearthing a meal — or a dirty sock, in the case of your domesticated ferret.

Butt scooting

A skid mark here, a skid mark there: The unmistakable signs of the infamous ferret butt scoot! Ferrets and polecats may drag their butts across the yard or floor after going to the bathroom. This is your ferret’s way of saying, “I was here!” Not all butt scoots leave visual evidence, but they all leave olfactory trails that tell other ferrets and animals that the area has been or is currently occupied by your fuzzy.

Coveting thy hidey-hole

Hidey-holes go hand in hand with ferrets, and the good spots are highly coveted if you have more than one fuzzy. In the wild, polecats use the burrows of other animals to nest in, but if none are readily available, they’ll dig their own holes in tree root balls. They don’t seem to stay in one spot for long; they’ll pack up and move frequently. Domesticated ferrets also take advantage of hidey-holes when they find them. They’ll hole up in them to sleep or rest and occasionally have to defend them from other ferrets. When your ferret can’t find hidey-holes, she’ll create them herself by digging or burrowing into mattresses, couches, or even your underwear drawer.

Scoping out boundaries

Wild polecats spend a lot of time patrolling their territories in the wild, and a good amount of time is spent along the boundaries. Boundary patrols are conducted so that intruding polecats know the territory is currently occupied and they shouldn’t enter. This reduces the amount of fights and decreases the chances of injury.

Domesticated ferrets inherited this territorial patrolling behavior. When first released from her cage or after a long nap, your ferret will first patrol the area before she starts to play. Along the walls, behind couches and curtains; she’s simply retracing her territory and looking for intruders. Although you certainly hope she’ll aim for the litter box, pooping along the edges, in corners, and even in doorways where intruders may enter is your ferret’s way of putting up a fence, so to speak.

by Kim Schilling